moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
