Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
