It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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