Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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