You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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