office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
