Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
