1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
bring money and cleavage
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
