Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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