I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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