if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
