We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
