she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
