i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
