I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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