yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Randomize
