Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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