The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
