Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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