let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
