i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
