I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
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