i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
