Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Less talking, more tequila
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
She needs sedatives and a leash
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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