it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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