just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
