just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
