plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
