So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
