My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
