i permit you to call me
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
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