I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
