the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
