I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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