Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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