I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
