You're completely useless in the revolution.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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