I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
