I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She's the barista slut.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
