Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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