i think my tv is drunk
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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