There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
