if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
