Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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