It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
