Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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