I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
