You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
This house was built for laser tag.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
