and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
