Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
He kissed a someone with a penis
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
