So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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