i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
high people should be assigned attendants
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
